Best day of my life?

Today I woke up with the need of confronting my life, hoping to know if it has been worthwhile living it. Therefore I decided to observe and choose the best day of my life, with the hope of being able to find such glorious day of my existence, just one day, that makes the others be totally valid. One before and after that day.

But which ingredients shall this day have?

To any person that knows me, must know that this day must have love, since this is the motor that moves my life. I believe that such an important day, it should not only be extremely positive, but also should have some pain. For me the best day of my life is not the most beautiful, but also that one that has all the emotions to make me feel more alive than before, that single day, that gives us passion, love, pain, anger, sadness, and above all, hope.

For many, having a day like this would be a miracle, something very difficult. Even so, there are many that have it, and instead of thanking life for feeling so alive, the only concentrate on observing the bad things, forgetting all the good things. Always at the end of a day like this, no matter the bad things, since when compared to the positive things, it is something almost non existent. Definitely, as human beings we are somehow blind to happiness, or simply we just search for misery in order to have an excuse so we are not happy.

What comes after happiness? After being happy comes the constant challenge of remaining happy. Happiness is like the love of a woman. I see the love of a woman as a constant conquest, a man must make his woman fall in love with him every day. For happiness we have to fight daily.

Coming back to the topic, choosing one day of my life, I must say I have had my share of them, but not a long time ago I had the chance to live one that lead me to reflect about the others. That day, I wont say when and where, since its part of the mystery of my conquest. I will say that it had love, love with fear, a love that carried uncertainty, a love that with each kiss generated the fear of doubt, of seeing something that was distant and small, suddenly become an object with hope, something with meaning in my life.

Each look, each kiss, each touch, and each hug, had a shade of love that you dont experience with any person, that you only feel it with that person that reaches your soul, that person that opens your heart and understands it, that puts it in order and also disorders it, and leaves us waiting for her return. The pain came by knowing that the day was ending, and that somehow I would return to the distance, knowing that this precise day, possibly would never be lived again. Never the less, all the beauty of that day, gave me hope, of continuing to smile and fighting, for something that I may not know if its real or imaginary, but in my soul and in my heart, paint a smile every day.

Perhaps isn't it worth it in thinking of an eternal smile? So, thanks to that day, and a week of not understanding my feelings, I understood that the beauty of what was lived, was much better that what was not lived due to the distance that would separate us again. Hope turned into a permanent smile and the simpleness of understanding that life is full of beautiful surprises.

One day I will have the courage to put a meaningful picture of that day

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not worth a full entry, but deserves a comment. with a friend, talking of love and unlove, I thought what if one of the women of my past was the love of my life and I lost her? he was a wise friend by telling me, give thanks that you met her and shared something with her. Many never get to know her.


EL MEJOR DIA DE MI VIDA?

Hoy me levante con la necesidad de confrontar mi vida con el fin de saber si ha valido la pena. Por ello decidi recapitular y elegir el mejor dia de mi vida, con la ilusion de poder decir que ha existido un dia tan grandioso, solo un dia, que hace los demas ser totalmente validos. Un antes y un despues de ese dia.

Pero que ingredientes debe tener ese dia?

Para cualquier persona que me conoce, sabe que debe tener amor, pues este es el motor que mueve mi vida. Creeria que un dia tan importante, no solo debe ser extremadamente positivo, sino tambien debe tener un poco de dolor. Para mi el mejor dia de mi vida, no es solo el mas hermoso, sino tambien aquel que tiene todas las emociones para hacerme sentir mas vivo que nunca, ese sentir en un solo dia, que nos presenta la pasion, el amor, el dolor, la rabia, la tristeza y sobre todas las cosas la esperanza.

Para muchos tener un dia asi es un milagro, algo muy dificil. Aun asi, hay muchos que lo tienen y en vez de agradecer a la vida sentirse tan vivos, solo se concentran en observar lo malo, olvidando todo lo bueno. Siempre al final de un dia como este, no importa lo malo, pues esto comparado con lo bueno es algo minusculo. Definitivamente los seres humanos somos de alguna manera ciegos ante la felicidad, o simplemente buscamos la miseria con tal de tener excusas para no ser felices.

Acaso que viene despues de la felicidad? Despues de ser feliz viene el reto constante de mantener la felicidad. La felicidad es como el amor de una mujer. Yo veo el amor de una mujer como una constante conquista, a la mujer se debe enamorar todos los dias. Por la felicidad se debe luchar a diario.

Pero regresando al tema, elegir un dia de mi vida, creo que he tenido varios, pero hace poco tuve la oportunidad de vivir uno que me llevo a reflexionar sobre los demas. Ese dia, no deseo decir donde y cuando fue, pues es parte del misterio de mi conquista. Pero si puedo decir que hubo amor, un amor con miedo, un amor en que cada beso creaba miedo de la incertidumbre, de ver algo que era lejano y minusculo, repentinamente tornaba a ser algo con esperanza, algo significativo en mi vida.

Cada mirada, cada beso, cada caricia y cada abrazo, tenia un matiz amoroso que no se tiene con cualquier persona, se tiene solo con esa persona que llega al alma, aquella que abre el corazon y lo comprende, lo ordena y lo desordena, y nos deja esperando su regreso. El dolor llego al saber que el dia terminaba y que de alguna manera regresaria a la distancia, sabiendo que ese dia vivido, posiblemente no se viviria de nuevo. Sin embargo, todo lo hermoso de ese dia, me dio esperanza, de seguir sonriendo y luchando, por algo que no se si es real o imaginario, pero en mi alma y mi corazon, dibujan una sonrisa a diario.

Acaso no vale la pena pensar en una eterna sonrisa? Pues gracias a ese dia, y una semana de no comprender mis sentimientos, me di cuenta que lo hermoso que se vivio, fue mucho mejor que lo que no se vivio debido a la distancia que nos separaria nuevamente. La esperanza se convirtio en una sonrisa permanente y en la sencillez de entender que la vida esta llena de hermosas sorpresas.

Algun dia tendre el valor de poner un foto significativa de ese dia.

----

no merece una entrada completa, pero si un comentario. con un amigo, hablando de amores y desamores, pensaba que tal que una de las mujeres de mi pasado sea el amor de mi vida y la haya perdido? fue un sabio amigo al decirme, agradece que la conociste y que compartiste algo con ella. muchos jamas llegan a conocerla.

Italia

Aquel lugar donde las montañas se juntan con el horizonte
donde no se puede diferenciar la nieve con las nubes
en ese lugar donde no se sabe si uno esta en la tierra o en el cielo
en ese momento, mi corazon sabia que estaba en Italia.

Magnifico lugar donde las personas se comportan como personas,
Hablan, sienten, respiran, besan y abrazan
Donde la piel se siente mas viva y sensible
Y el corazon se encuentra embriagado por el vino y las emociones.

Decepcion

Las luces del este se oscurecen
las aguas calmas se tornan turbulentas
la brisa olvida su paz
mientras el cielo rompe en llanto.

La euforia pierde su pasion
el silencio es el unico testigo presente
el batir del corazon se hace mudo
un alma moribunda colma el ambiente.

La figura que iluminaba el camino
se esfuma violentamente
la deseperacion se torna en la unica esperanza
el caos, el delirio y la sosobra
encuentran una vez mas en mi su morada.

Apaciguado por el dolor
abrumado por la sosobra
el peso de mi putrefacto corazon
derrumba mi voluntad y
detiene mi andar por este camino.

----

DISAPPOINTMENT

The lights from the east darken
the calm water turn turbulent
the wind forgets its peace
while the sky breaks in tears.

Euphoria looses its passion
silence is the only present witness
the beating of the heart turns numb
a moribund soul fills the ambience.

The figure that iluminated the path
disappears violently
desperation becomes the only hope
the chaos, delirium and misery
once again find in me their dwelling.

Appeased by pain
overwhelmed by misery
the weight of my putrid heart
collapses my will
and stops my walk in this path.

----

final del capitulo dedicado a las luces del este / end of the chapter dedicated to the lights of the east

Time games

Time is the most relative concept in the world. We may need a lifetime to figure out what we want, we may just need a couple of seconds to know what we don't desire. Time is the only thing we have and don't have. Many times we wish the time for something was over, and sometimes we wish that a moment would be eternal.

TIME GAMES

Time is both my curse and my blessing.
My curse due to the inevitable end that will come.
My blessing due to the sacred moments we lived together.
Playful time, painful time.

Time I spent with you,
time I lost without you.
Time which I used to recover a broken heart,
time I waited to fall in love again,
to find the wound once again open.

Time for you to go your own way,
time for me to show you that our ways can meet.
Time for you to look at me,
time for me to open my soul.

Time to fight for what you truly believe in,
time to let my beliefs guide my path.

If so, my truthful belief of love above all, shall guide my path
time will tell if it was a noble purpose
or a painful path.

At the end of time,
time will have no value
because being lost in your love
makes every moment sacred and eternal.


JUEGOS DEL TIEMPO

El tiempo es el concepto mas relativo del mundo. Podemos necesitar una vida entera para saber que queremos, pero necesitamos solo un par de segundos para saber que es lo que no deseamos. Tiempo es lo unico que tenemos y no tenemos. Muchas veces deseamos que el tiempo para algo se terminara, y muchas veces deseamos que ese momento fuese eterno.

El tiempo es mi maldicion y mi bendicion.
Mi maldicion debido a el hecho inevitable que el fin llegara.
Mi bendicion debido a los hermosos momentos que juntos vivimos.
Tiempo de juego, tiempo de dolor.

Tiempo que pase contigo,
tiempo que pase sin ti.
Tiempo usado para recuperar un roto corazon,
tiempo que espere para enamorarme de nuevo,
para encontrar la herida abierta una vez mas.

Tiempo para que sigas tu propio camino,
tiempo para mostrarte que nuestros caminos se pueden encontrar.
Tiempo para que me mires,
tiempo para mostrarte mi alma.

Tiempo de luchar por lo que realmente crees,
tiempo para dejar que mis principios guien mi camino.

Si es asi, mi verdadero principio de amor sobre todas las cosas,
debera guiar mi camino.
Solo el tiempo dira si fue un proposito noble
o un doloroso destino.

Al final del tiempo,
el tiempo no tendra valor
pues estar perdido en tu amor
hace cada instante sagrado y eterno.

------------------

Amarte a ti es un error, dice un amigo que cree que ser feliz es estar libre, Y se pierde del matiz que da lo incierto, amarte a ti. - Ricardo Arjona

Reaching out to the butterfly

Pouring a heart into a paper, letting your fears take over you for a second, and then reaching your heart for courage in order to do the most heroic act, that is a difficult task, but you deserve them all. Believe is one thing, making someone else believe in you is more difficult. When talking of love, even harder.

Today I write to you, telling you to believe, to believe in me, and to believe in us, even though it existed for a short time, it proved to be stronger and more alive than many things that surrounds us, at least much more stronger than many things I have in my life.

I know that timing may not be the best, I know there are many reasons to be afraid, I know that many of the things I have done are difficult to understand, but one thing is true. My feelings are true. Life may have many things planned for you, for me, for us. I am not going to let my happiness go away. My heart was set up on fire, and I am not going to let that die. Believe me, I am used to fighting alone, I know that doing things together is much easier, but it is not difficult to recognize such a beautiful feeling like the one you made me feel. It is not difficult to see the amazing woman you are, the great person you make me feel when i am with you. Therefore, I want you to know that for you, I would fight alone against all reasons, because hope can truly beat despair.

Am I crazy? most of people would say yes, but I guess none of them truly understand my heart. You have the power to change my plans by reminding me the only thing that is true in my life. That above all, love is my real goal in my life, after that, I can achieve all I want. You set my mind and my path on the right direction, once again I reminded myself of who I really am, and what I really want to do in life. For that I truly thank you. My heart and my life owe you for returning the true purpose into my life.

I am not asking for anything in return, I dont even ask for a word, I just hope that when you read this, you know it is for you, because it was your eyes and your lips on which I got inspired. I hope I can reach you, and show you how close I am right now.

Your smile, your look into my eyes, your soul, all of you, made me fall, completely, without any doubt.

For you I would walk on water, cause I know that you would catch me if I fall.

Remembrance

Your smile is printed on my eyes.
Slowly, the image converts into memory
and with the pass of time
it will become a remembrance.

Remembrance of that precise moment
that time has denied us.
Memory that conveniently
will be an oblivion.

---

RECUERDO

Tu sonrisa quea estampada en mis ojos.
Lentamente la imagen se convierte en memoria
y con el paso del tiempo
tornara a ser un recuerdo.

Recuerdo de aquel momento
que el tiempo ha negado.
Recuerdo que convenientemente
llegara a ser un olvido.

Butterflies

The free and independent flight of the butterfly has hypnotized me. The beating of her colorful wings, the arythmic path. The uncertainty of each second captures my attention. My breathing synchronizes with every movement of this beautiful creature.

sighs and colors, is all I live and feel. Once again I feel comforted by the warm breeze that comes with the lights of the east.

----

MARIPOSAS

El vuelo libre e independiente de la mariposa me tiene hipnotizado. El batir de sus coloridas alas, el arritmico trayecto. La incertidumbre de cada segundo captura mi atencion. Mi rspiracion se sincroniza con cada movimiento de esta hermosa criatura.

Suspiros y colores, es todo lo que vivo y siento. Una vez mas me siento comfortado por la calida brisa que viene con las luces del este.

Utopia of a poet

My pathetic utopia of wanting to be a poet reminds me of my mistaken paths. Growing up among magicians, musicians, philosophers, and artists, I was not able to assume my love for paper, pencil and feelings. Obtaining refuge in the world of what is calculable and perfect, without knowing that in imperfection is where I feel complete.

Damned fear that drove me away from my destined path. Blessed fear that guided me towards them. Cause life has given me women. Passionate, sensual, possessed by love and captured by fear. Women unable to love freely. Because of them and for them I have returned to the placebo I call poetry. Poems that hope to be keys that reach hearts, poems full of love and stupid metaphors. Vain poems, that when analized do not only speak of them, but also my vanity towards having a beautiful woman. Elevating their beauty is elevating my conquest.

Beautiful trophy. Trophy that takes me towards poetry. My mistaken paths, that always end up flooding ink of passions over any virgin paper of my utopic attempt to make poetry.

---

UTOPIA DE UN POETA

Mi utopia patetica de intentar ser un poeta me recuerda mis errados caminos. Creciendo entre magos, musicos, filosofos y artistas no fui cpaz de asumir mi amor por el papel, el lapiz y el sentimiento. Obteniendo refugio en el mundo de lo calculable y lo perfecto, sin darme cuenta que en la imperfeccion es donde yo me siento completo.

Maldito miedo que me alejo de mi original camino. Bendito miedo que me guio a ellas. Pues la vida me ha dado mujeres. Apasionadas, sensuales, poseidas de amor y apresadas por el miedo. Mujeres incapaces de amar libres. Por ellas y para ellas he regresado al placebo que llamo poesia. Poemas que como llaves buscan llegar al corazon. Poemas llenos de amor y estupidas metaforas. Poemas vanidosos, que al ser analizados no hablan solo de ellas, sino de mi vanidad por tener una mujer hermosa. Exaltar su belleza es exaltar mi conquista.

Hermoso trofeo. Trofeo que me lleva a la poesia. Mis errados caminos, que siempre terminan desbordando tinta de pasiones sobre cualqueir papel virgen de mi utopico esfuerzo por hacer poesia.

Depth

In the depth of my being coexist my fears and my passions
in the depth of my being surfaces an abyss
in the depth of my being live my darkest reasons
in the depth of my being there is only pain and delirium
in the depth of my being was where I loved you
in the depth of my being was were you abandoned your chaotic home
in the depth of my being your life was marked into my life
and today I can only live in the depth of my being

---

PROFUNDIDAD

En la profundidad de mi ser conviven mis miedos y mis pasiones
en la profundidad de mi ser existe un abismo
en la profundidad de mi ser estan mis mas oscuras razones
en la profundidad de mi ser solo hay dolor y delirio
en la profundidad de mi ser fue donde te ame
en la profundidad de mi ser abandonaste tu caotica morada
en la profundidad de mi ser quedo tu vida en mi vida marcada
y hoy solo vivo en la profundidad de mi ser

Weakness

Weakness of a man in front of a woman,
the declaration of love is what generates it.
Without such heroic act, what would it be of men?
since women were made for us
and we were made from and for them

In that moment, in which vulnerability is admitted
in which the umpermeable barrier that sorrounds the heart
has been defeated with the simpleness of a smile,
that the cold feeling is every second more absent
and gives its place to the constant feeling of warmth
coming from the close breath
and the skin of the loved one.

Isn't it the desired moment?
the essence of life?
Accepting the weakness is the most courageous act.

---

DEBILIDAD

Debilidad de un hombre ante una mujer,
la declaracion de amor es lo que la genera.
Pero sin tal acto heroico que seria del hombre,
pues la mujer fue hecha para nosotros
y nosotros para ellas?

Aquel momento en que se admite la vulnerabilidad
que la barrera impenetrable que rodea el corazon
ha sido derrotada con la sencillez de una sonrisa,
que el frio se hace cada vez mas ausente
y da paso a la constante sensacion de calor
proveniente del aliento cercano
y de la piel de la amada

No es aquel el anhelado momento
la esencia de la vida?
Aceptar la debilidad es el mayor acto de valentia.

Time bridges

The echo of your footsteps still haunts me in my sleep.
Your leaving footprints still imprinted on the muddy entrance.
The silence of the words that never arrived is the melody that I follow.
That is the madness you left within me.

The madness, madness I have become
madness that takes over me
madness that does not allow me to go on
madness which confronts me every instant of my existence.

Is madness what I have become?
Madness is the only problem,
madness is the only answer.

Therefore the current madness is only the solution
for the peace that will come.
The madness that built the bridge from my peaceful past
to my peaceful future.

I am not madness. You were.
Your echoes, your footprints and your silence,
your madness.

Bridges are built, madness is lost.
Time to move on.

-----

Puentes en el tiempo

El eco de tus pasos aun me persigue en mi sueño.
Tus pasos de abandono aun impresos en la puerta cubierta de barro.
El silencio de tus palabras que jamas llegaron es la melodia que hoy sigo.
Esta es la locura que tu dejaste dentro de mi.

La locura, en locura me he convertido
locura que se apodera de mi
locura que no me permite seguir adelante
locura que me confronta cada instante de mi existencia.

Acaso es locura en lo que me he convertido?
locura es el unico problema,
locura es la unica respuesta.

Por ende, la actual locura es la unica solucion
para la paz que vendra.
La locura que construye el puente de mi tranquilo pasado
a mi tranquilo futuro.

Yo no soy locura. Tu lo eras.
Tus ecos, tus pasos y tu silencio.
Tu locura

Los puentes son contruidos, y la locura es dejada atras.
Tiempo de seguir adelante.

New illusions

Long lasting minutes of solitude seem to disappear with a new bright light. Lights coming from the east begins to warm the winter my heart was living in. The darkness seems to be left behind, like new skin, being a new born, start walking a path towards the unknown, an uncertain future that has more hope than the desperate past that tortured my heart.

Despair & Hope

Despair

The suffering has been too much, with a noble purpose, but without noble results. Time passes, love grows stronger, while bodies grow further apart. The fear of losing oneself in a sea of doubts and lack of trust, chills your spine, freezes your mind, and empties your heart. Feeling miserable, empty, and alone is only the beginning of a road to feel dead, loveless, which is worse, it is to be dead among the living, since a body without love is only a body, no heart, no soul, no dreams, and no hopes. Death takes over, but gives a slow painful death, takes only a small art every day, maintaining you lucid enough to know what you lack, to know what you miss. It allows you to know where is your soul, your heart, and your life, but in the mean time holding you so hard, so tight, so strong, that the veins, where your loveless blood flows, try to burst without a result, because death lets go for a second, lets you breath, lets you feel, see, smell, taste, dream, hope, and remember, before giving you once again that grip that has taken all away.

Hope

Life is all about wanting things. People teach us to dream, but do not teach us how to achieve them. Dreams are the second most beautiful thing in the world; the most beautiful thing is fighting for them. Dreams keep your spirit and soul young, alive, and joyful. Working for your dreams gives you the reason to keep believing every day, gives you the hope, and gives you the air you breathe, gives you a life, gives you the blood, which really flows into your heart. The correlation between dreams and hopes is absolutely high, because we can say that a person without dreams will never be happy. A person without dreams lives day to day. A person without dreams looses all, gives all away. A person without dreams will never feel the anxiety of getting close to achieving the dream. A person without dreams simply rolls in life. A person without dreams simply becomes a victim of his own lifeless choices. Since we have been given this life to live more than one day, therefore we must imagine our future, we must feel it, taste it, build it, and fight for it. It is in our natural innocence that we experiment the joy of dreams and sharing dreams. Growing up does not mean to stop dreaming, he dreams will always keep us young, dreams will always keep us alive. Follow your dreams, and you will find the road your heart must travel. Dreams exist to be achieved. Wise men say that anything a man is capable of dreaming is also capable of doing. Just look at your wings and set yourself free to fly in your dreams, until your dreams become your reality.

For your Mother

Mother,

I give you my heart

since it has been blessed with love and affection.

Mother,

I give you my hand,

since it has been held with hope and protection.

Mother,

I give you my eyes,

since they have seen the beauty of God´s creation.

Mother,

I give you my dreams,

since they will only be true with my heart´s dedication.

Mother,

I may not say it much,

but before I was born we had a loving connection.

Mother, I love you as you have always loved me.

You Are The Reason

You are the reason my heart beats

my reason to breathe,

the reason I can feel the wind,

and the reason it’s easy for me to smile.

You are the reason I am not afraid of perfection,

and the reason I know God´s creation is beautiful.

You are the reason I believe in love.

You are the reason I don´t believe in the impossible,

because by your side and for you,

I will make the impossible possible.

You are the reason I dream while I´m awake,

the reason I dream of being a boyfriend,

the reason I dream of being a husband,

the reason I dream of being a father.

You are the reason, for that and many things,

I believe that life is always perfect.

The gift of Love

Love is the biggest gift God has given us. In the name of love poems have been written, masterpieces composed, and art has been inspired.

I´m not an artist, a poet or a composer, but in the name of love I would do everything for you, because you are my inspiration to live life as a wonderful creation, like it was meant to be.

Slow breaths

Slowly, grasping the last gulp of air
eyes closed, hands sweating
despair, pain, restless

Slowly, darkness covers the horizon
eyes closed, hands shaking
fear, chaos, solitude.

Slowly, still tasting your last kiss
eyes closed, hands open
falling, calm , lifeless.

Quest for a soul

Conversation with myself

Jump, what are you waiting for. This is your moment to achieve your lifeless solution, because that is what you desire, to be lifeless. You look around, and in this cold night of this big city, there is no one walking by, no one looking at you, another reason for you to do this. Usually this city is full of lights, people, cars, homeless, drunken men and women and prostitutes, the decadence of humanity, but tonight, not even the worse have time to presence your acts. Tonight is only you, and the spotlight given by the moon. You slowly walk to the end of the roof, take a look at the abyss, and it looks at you back through your eyes, the inevitable destiny, is it really inevitable? Is there really something like destiny? Apparently in your case, yes.

The night is very cold, and still you stand there under the rain, just wearing jeans, no shoes, no shirt, wet dark hair, rain all over you, desperate to feel alive, waiting for a struck of thunder to give you the life, the energy, that you so desperately starve for. Your existence will be decided in this moment, and trust me, whatever you do won’t be worse than your horrid existence. Look around, alone in your most heroic moment, which is what you think, a hero, someone too good for this world, someone with ideals, someone not made for this loveless world of hatred. You are a hero, you think, but tomorrow, you will only be a statistic, a number, and with time, no one will care, no one will remember, and I don’t think that is the definition of hero, but in your heart, you are a victim, a victim of love, a victim of life, a victim in its most wonderful expression.

Close your eyes, stretch your arms, open your senses, and let your skin tell you the story. In this night, the breeze is strong, but it does not hit you in the face, it hits you in the back, pushing you closer to the abyss. Despite the heavy strong rain, you feel your tears slowly coming down your face, so heavy, so dense, that they inevitably reach your shaking lips, the smell and taste of cyanide, your own life is killing you. The wind, no longer smells like the spring you loved when you were a child, the tulips and roses are no longer there, replaced by the cold and lifeless cement of the big city; the wind, it now has a heavy smell, the rotten smell of despair, of frustration, of pain, of a rotten life, because to be there, you are rotten inside. You feel so empty, and the place in which you thought a soul should go, there is nothing, you have no soul, because the soul is not a free gift you get when you are born, the soul is something you earn, and tonight you have no soul, which is the reason all feels lonelier, colder, deeper, and darker. You always thought you had a soul, for that matter you never felt alone, but tonight you see that not even your soul is there to hold you. You thought that the wind hitting your face would be your soul telling you not to look into the abyss, but to your surprise the breeze is hitting you on the back, pushing you closer to the lifeless destination.

What is the point, why fear, if your life has already been taken when she took her love from you? There is nothing to live for, and still, you hold strongly to the pole, your lifeless friend this night, which you wished it was another hand. The dark, cold, and wet pole does not hold you back, so you grab it with more strength as you lean to take a look at the road ahead, the breeze becomes stronger, the wind pushes you, and still you don’t hear anyone shouting your name, you don’t feel a warm hand of hope holding you. Tonight is only you, only you can decide.

Jump I tell you, don’t be afraid, it won’t hurt, it won’t hurt more than the pain you have already felt. Trust me, gravity will do its work, it’s an expert, don’t think you are the first one, many, like you have come to this appointment, and many have jumped, and never, gravity has failed, but no one remembers who they are, because when people decide to take their life, family, lovers, friends, enemies, don’t want to remember you, all that you will be is a blank page in their lives, and soon, that page will fall off, or be filled with better things, that is why tonight you are alone, alone in the rain, alone with the moon, that is not even a full moon, because in your heart, you believe that you don’t deserve the light of nature´s most beautiful spotlight.

You thought you had it all, inspiration, poetry, dreams, hopes, and desires, in one second all is gone, all is dead. All that you were, all that you wanted to be, no longer exists. Who are you? What will you do? Questions like this no longer have an answer in her absence, and still you question yourself whether to take a step forward to the abyss, or to live loveless, which to you is just a simple difference of breathing, as for the heart, it’s the same. This is your date with fate, you are facing destiny, it’s up to you to make it happen, because I tell you that destiny exists, but it depends on you to make it happen, so face your destiny, jump, fly, fall, rest, lifeless. Did you have a choice, were you born to get to this moment? You were born a victim, you had no choice. Nobody showed you your life and asked you do you want to live? No one showed you the ending, and asked you, are you interested in this life? Yes my friend, tonight I tell you that you are a victim, so if you are a victim, why not jump, what is it going to change? Nothing, all will be the same, you will be the same, just you made your destiny, you found your reason to be alive, and your reason was to fulfill your destiny.

It’s not so simple, your family, your friends, your love, your enemies, everyone, did not choose this, so they are also victims, they are your victims. Think about it, it’s a vicious circle of being a victim. You try to remember something worth living, you see her face in your flooded eyes, and then the love of a mother is your second answer, because it’s in her that you think of, it’s her that you imagine crying by your lifeless body. Its guilt that makes you think of her. You keep on thinking, and as your mind shows you all, you remember being loved, you remember to love before you were born, you remember to be loved before being born. Then it means, you were born a loved victim, makes it sound a little better. Suddenly you feel like grabbing that pole with both hands, suddenly you find yourself hugging that pole, like the last hand on earth. You feel fear. Fear, what an ironic and cynical feeling, fear takes you close to the abyss, but fear does not let you jump, you live in fear, you will die in fear. What is keeping you from jumping, what is holding you, or what are you holding on to?

If you are here, is because it hurts, because the pain, the sting, the despair, the sorrow, all the words you can imagine for a broken heart, but also you are here because you care, because you love, you really love, because you don’t want to love someone else as you loved her, because you care. In your heart you know she is the love of your life, the real and true love, your heart knows it, and you trust your heart, because it is the only organ in your body that does not have the ability to be selfish. What happened? Did the love end, did she quit on you, whatever the answer, the result is the same. Love is gone, because it died, or because it does not want to be lived, you are here alone, that is the truth, that is your truth, and you don’t want to let that idea go, because then you are no longer a victim. All that you are worth, all you greatest actions, all your greatest conquests and triumphs could be resumed in one word: Her. There is where you are wrong.

My friend, you did all you could, you loved with all your heart, you have no regrets, you told her I love you as many times as you felt it, you held her hand and looked in her eyes, and made her feel that you love her, you never lied, your heart never did, you did all. She stopped loving you, or chose not to love you, you wanted a happy ending, but I ask you to look for happy ending s in this world, and it will be very difficult to find one. Unfortunately we live in a selfish world, a world were even parents no longer want the best for their children, a world that has invented thousands of excuses not to believe in true love. This world is full of broken hearted people, people that will try to protect you when you meet true love, because they are afraid like you are, but they also feel envy. You, are one of the lucky people on this planet that found true love, you can choose now to fight for it or let it go, knowing that you will never love someone like that, going through life, and being a bastard, making another woman fall in love with you, knowing that by that you are taking her chance and the chance of another man to meet the love of their life, are you so selfish? Sounds interesting, at least by doing that, you would have some company, and there would be others trying to jump tonight, but I am sure that you would not see them, because this is about you, being alone, confronted with your heart. What do you decide? Be the bastard and get some more jumpers, or do the right thing.

You found love, real true love, fight for it, you thought you had no reason to live, but this confrontation with destiny changed it all, you have a reason to live, you have the greatest reason to live, her love, your true love. You are lucky, while many people never find the love of their life, you met yours, you have kissed yours, you have felt her breath near your face, you have felt the warm touch that you desperately need now, you are a lucky man. You know your true love, you know her name, you know what she likes, and of all you know she likes you, you love her, and yes she loves you. You are afraid, and so is she. True love is scary because it takes pain, sacrifices, sorrow, tears, and decisions, but the brave ones that decide to fight for this, are able to look back and say that all the pain, that all the sorrow, and all the bad moments, does not compare to the happiness they feel now, does not compare to a life in real true love.

Love is the most wonderful gift God has given us as humans, we are so busy looking for money, pursuing careers, that we forgot that love is the most important thing in our life, otherwise what is the reason for the heart to be the only organ in the human body without the capability to be selfish? Love is agony, is the pain of rejection, is the fear of losing it all, but is also the taste of a warm kiss, opening your eyes and her being the first thing you see in the morning, and the last when you go to sleep. Love is the feeling that has made you feel alive, love is all that God really gave you, love is all that you really know how to do, and loving her, you feel an expert. I tell you, humans are afraid of real love, because all that we have believed in for the last thousands of years, would not have any meaning. We are afraid of losing all meaning, because we would be stripped to our most basic expression, love.

She is afraid, and you know it. She is being prevented from the most wonderful gift of God, true and real love. People around her tell her to do the opposite, because in their minds they are convinced that they are doing the right thing, they are afraid of seeing her, fighting for true love. They are afraid because they don’t know what true love is, they are afraid, but you have to be there, you have to do it for her; you have to fight for her, and show all that there is nothing to be afraid of. I told you we were born victims, well with true and real love we can change that, you are the true and real love of her life, and she is the true and real love of your life, you can both be loved victims, but you can change that for your children, you can make them just loved, they will know that life can have a happy ending, that life can be perfect, without so much pain and suffering, because no matter the destiny they choose for themselves, they will do it with true and real love. You both can change the world, no longer a victim.

You are still standing in the edge of the roof, still holding the pole, now stronger than ever. The wind can’t choose on which direction to blow, but you can choose which direction to face, you turn around and suddenly the wind is hitting your back, it’s your soul, you have earned it, it’s telling you that you have made the right decision. You did not jump, me neither, that is why I am here telling you not to, but that was something you had to find out by yourself. The rain feels warmer, and you can begin to enjoy it while it cleans your tears, that are no longer a lethal dose of cyanide, but now taste like your tears when you were a child, tears of hope, the hope that came when you knew someone was going to hold you. The wind again smells like roses, and tulips, the one you love to keep by your window, purple and white, making it all perfect. You move on, leave the roof, you know what to do, you love her, she is in your heart, and you will not take the chance of others to be with the love of your life, you will keep on living, loving, until the end of your days, she is worth it, you know it, she is scared, you know it, it’s your turn to be there for her, and stop her from jumping.

You have heard me, felt me, and cried with or for me. Maybe you feel like jumping, maybe you don’t. I looked at the abyss, and it looked back at my soulless body, I grabbed to the pole, but then I knew I was not holding to a pole, I was holding to the dream and the hope of loving her. She and her love saved me. Go now and save her life, I am already on my way there.

This advice is a gift, you decide to take it or to share it, you decide if you want to let others jump, or you decide to help them before they reach the abyss and the confrontation, for me it was necessary, but now I love her so others can see and believe, now after earning my soul I see possible where others see the impossible, now for me that is the proper definition of a hero.

You have found your love, fight for it, don’t be a victim, be a dreamer, show the world, that love is worth the pain, if you have not found it, believe that you will.

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Don’t be afraid, I am not but I am willing to take a risk, to support the pain, the sorrow, because I know that what we have is true love, I know that you are afraid, and many people are afraid for you, they think they are protecting you, but really they are taking your chance to have real and true love in your life. Don’t think that you will be alone, because you will be with me, and I am you real and true love and that for me is more than enough. After having the real and true love, I can guarantee you that all the rest of the pieces will fall in the right place, and you won’t ever feel alone.

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I Juan 4:18

En amor no hay temor; mas el perfecto amor echa fuera el temor: porque el temor tiene pena. De donde el que teme, no está perfecto en el amor.

I Giovanni 4:18

Nell’amore non c’è paura; anzi, l’amor perfetto caccia via la paura; perché la paura implica apprensione di castigo; e chi ha paura non è perfetto nell’amore.

I John 4:18

There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is, there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love.

I Johannes 4:18

Furcht ist nicht in der Liebe, sondern die völlige Liebe treibt die Furcht aus; denn die Furcht hat Pein. Wer sich aber fürchtet, der ist nicht völlig in der Liebe.

I Jean 4:18

La crainte n`est pas dans l`amour, mais l`amour parfait bannit la crainte; car la crainte suppose un châtiment, et celui qui craint n`est pas parfait dans l`amour.