Sometimes in love, people are hurt, let me correct myself, many times in love, people are hurt, and still we keep on fighting, we keep on believing and giving others chances, giving ourselves chances. What is it about love that means so much to us? Well, for me it means a lot, difficult to explain with words, when is all about a feeling, that completes me, that gives me a sensation of satisfaction, that gives me reason, that makes me believe and dream. In short words, love allows me to see the world the way its meant to be, beautiful.
Still, there are moments in which we are hurt, and believe me, I’ve been hurt as well. The important thing is how to react when we are hurt, do we give the pain back, or do we simply let it go, or do we speak about it? There are many possibilities, but so few are correct. Our instinct may tell us to break the heart of the person who just broke our heart, but what do we earn from that? We just allow the gap between ourselves grow wider, and that is more painful. So it is important to understand, that no matter what, we still love the person, and that no matter the pain and the anger, we should not fight back, because it will be a bigger pain for us. We need to look at what is really important, a simple small fight, or the person who is in front of you, because as she holds the key to your heart, you own the key to that person’s heart, and that is a great honor, but also a great responsibility . In this moment, is when a man, has to behave like a man, and be able to look into the eyes of the woman, and even with the pain, say that you forgive, that you give another chance, that you still believe, that no matter that dark moment, there is always light, there is always love. Even if you do not see much strength in you, what matters is the first step, once you give the first step to close the gap, rather than to widen it, and you pull yourself together, you will see that love somehow will come through.
One of the biggest influences in my sentimental life, were my grandparents. Unfortunately, my grandnmother passed away a couple of years ago, but before she gave us all a lesson of love and strength. With my grandfather, they followed the promise they did to each other in front of God, to love and respect each other until death set them appart. Well, they did, and her last breath, was used to ask her husband: Do you still love me? The answer is obvious, but that is not the most important. The most important is how they achieved it. After 5 children and 12 grandchildren, she shared that with me: forgiveness is the key, along with letting go of the pride. On this second part, it is important to be clear that letting go of the pride does not mean that you allow the other person to humilliate or disrespect you. Letting go of the pride means more like stop looking at your individual interests, and fight for the couple’s goals. Even if at some times, it means being hurt and being the one that gives the first step towards reconciliation. Once you know that more than a person, you are part of something bigger, part of a couple, part of family, forgiveness comes easily. Forgiveness shall not be taken as a key to the door of doing whatever you want because you will always be forgiven. Forgiveness is there, but a person should always do all the right things, and they should come naturally, because love is a natural feeling, based on emotions and instincts, and not on thoughts, the mind, or strategies. So, if you need to think a lot abou what is right or wrong, take a good look at your relationship, it may be lacking heart, it may be lacking love.
The reason to write this, is that I know there is a person around us, who wants to love us, but is always afraid to hurt us. So I tell those people to take the risk of love, that if the love is real, there wont be pain, and in case there is, there will always be a way to fix it, as long as both are acting as one, as long as both are looking to the same direction, with love, in love. Take the risk, the pain and the sad moments, are always so small compared to the amazing things a life full of love can give you.
Written December 2nd, 2009, in a train, from Nureberg to Coburg, Germany.