Disappointment

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that the individual feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while the individual feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself.

Do I feel disappointed? Yes.
Do I regret it? No.

The outcome was not as expected. What can I do? Do I focus on the outcome, that maybe is today's sorrow, but its tomorrow's past, or simply I get the best out of the situation and move on? Well, definitely it is all about the attitude. Its not about one battle, its about the war, and well, this war is just too young to call it lost.

What happened? Simply the expectations were different than the outcome, what hurts more, that I tried my best, which was acknowledged as the best, but still it was not enough. Sometimes being the best is not enough. Guess its the art of having a God in heaven, that is looking for the best for me. Well, He is indeed wiser than I am, and I am sticking to His wisdom, in His perfect way of writing life, rather than my subjective view on life. Guess it is not about what I want, maybe it is what I really do need.

So today, I felt disappointment, and found myself surrounded by love and friends. Once again life shows me, that maybe we can do many things by ourselves, but it is so much better and simpler when we have people around us that simply care about us. The point is that sometimes we loose in something that is simple, but win so much in something way more important. In these type of moments, is when we should have our beliefs stronger than ever, to keep searching what we believe in, and not what we just lost or did not achieve. Once again, life gives me the reason, when I say that the love of a lover, companion, accomplice, and friends is way much better and important than any material achievement that comes from any activity created by men. Nothing is better than what is natural to the heart.

So I wipe of the disappointment, and move on, knowing that I was the best, and there will be a place, where I need to be. Until then, keep on trying with the same attitude, because as long as I have a woman like the one I have by my side, and friends like the ones that surround me, there is no battle that is lost.

Do I feel disappointed? No!

Dedicated to I.K. and H.S.

Flying with the clouds

A small poem that is born in an attempt to be sweet with the woman that owns my heart. A small conversation that becomes poetry, because she inspires those words, and puts them on my lips.

My heart waited until i fell asleep
and then escaped through the window
traveled with the clouds
arriving to your bed while you were sleeping,
and then he went near your ear to tell you love words,
then found a place in your hands, because he felt safe and warm,
then before you woke up, he went away,
but before, he kissed you on the lips,
and came back, to me,
and that explained why i always woke up with a smile

dedicated to the always beautiful source of inspiration.... mariposa

Freedom to speak

Freedom. It is fought, bled, lost, and won. Among many other actions humans have done along history, this word means almost all to us. Governments fight wars in the name of this word. As always, my intention is not to write about politics or current situations, which maybe I should do, since we live in a loveless world that focuses in vengeance and not in giving a chance to people, to be people. To be free in the heart.

The freedom I am talking about, is the freedom of a person, man or woman, to express what he or she feels towards another person. Freedom to say I love you without being told to remain in silence. Freedom to say I need you, to say I desire you, to say that without you I can not be as happy as how I feel when I am alone. We have forgotten to accept the fact that we can be loved, society wants us to be lonely, to grow fond of the idea that we must be able to do all by ourselves, so when someone loves us, we must know that we do not need them. We do not need to be loved in today's world.

What has happened, that we have lost our desire to be with someone, that we need to prove ourselves that we are able to do all by ourselves before we can be with someone? What happened with the thought that, maybe, we are simply a better person when we are with that someone special? In my case, I know I can do many things by myself, but I am sure that when I have that special person, I do them better, I do them with more love, because I do not only do it with my desires in my heart, but I do it having her in my heart. Not because I need to, but because I desire to. I believe in soul mates, someone that makes you be better than when you are alone. I believe in doing all in order to find that person. I believe in doing all to keep that person once you have found it. I believe that the special person is able to make your life better.

I am not afraid to admit that I can depend on that person, because when I choose that person, or life chooses for me, that person is someone I truly trust, someone I know that if I fall, she can pick me up. In a way, that trust is one of the foundations of a relationship, believing in each other, to make the happy moments happier, and to make the difficult easier. I am not afraid to say, that in a world that pushes us to be alone, I'd rather be with someone meaningful to my heart.

So today, I encourage all, not to be afraid, to feel free, to hold the hands of the loved one, to look into her/his eyes, and simply say all that you have in your heart. To say all, without expecting anything in return, just for the joy of saying it, of letting your heart reach the pinnacle of emotions, of letting it live by saying all. Let go of all feelings within your heart. Take a chance. You deserve it, and more than anything, that person deserves to hear all you have in your heart.

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This is a new beginning of writings, the first of hopefully many more. The first part was compiled in a book of love and relationships that were meaningful to my life, now I intend to write about pure emotions: sadness, freedom, pain....

dedicated to I.K.