Monday, June 29, 2009

Best day of my life?

Today I woke up with the need of confronting my life, hoping to know if it has been worthwhile living it. Therefore I decided to observe and choose the best day of my life, with the hope of being able to find such glorious day of my existence, just one day, that makes the others be totally valid. One before and after that day.

But which ingredients shall this day have?

To any person that knows me, must know that this day must have love, since this is the motor that moves my life. I believe that such an important day, it should not only be extremely positive, but also should have some pain. For me the best day of my life is not the most beautiful, but also that one that has all the emotions to make me feel more alive than before, that single day, that gives us passion, love, pain, anger, sadness, and above all, hope.

For many, having a day like this would be a miracle, something very difficult. Even so, there are many that have it, and instead of thanking life for feeling so alive, the only concentrate on observing the bad things, forgetting all the good things. Always at the end of a day like this, no matter the bad things, since when compared to the positive things, it is something almost non existent. Definitely, as human beings we are somehow blind to happiness, or simply we just search for misery in order to have an excuse so we are not happy.

What comes after happiness? After being happy comes the constant challenge of remaining happy. Happiness is like the love of a woman. I see the love of a woman as a constant conquest, a man must make his woman fall in love with him every day. For happiness we have to fight daily.

Coming back to the topic, choosing one day of my life, I must say I have had my share of them, but not a long time ago I had the chance to live one that lead me to reflect about the others. That day, I wont say when and where, since its part of the mystery of my conquest. I will say that it had love, love with fear, a love that carried uncertainty, a love that with each kiss generated the fear of doubt, of seeing something that was distant and small, suddenly become an object with hope, something with meaning in my life.

Each look, each kiss, each touch, and each hug, had a shade of love that you dont experience with any person, that you only feel it with that person that reaches your soul, that person that opens your heart and understands it, that puts it in order and also disorders it, and leaves us waiting for her return. The pain came by knowing that the day was ending, and that somehow I would return to the distance, knowing that this precise day, possibly would never be lived again. Never the less, all the beauty of that day, gave me hope, of continuing to smile and fighting, for something that I may not know if its real or imaginary, but in my soul and in my heart, paint a smile every day.

Perhaps isn't it worth it in thinking of an eternal smile? So, thanks to that day, and a week of not understanding my feelings, I understood that the beauty of what was lived, was much better that what was not lived due to the distance that would separate us again. Hope turned into a permanent smile and the simpleness of understanding that life is full of beautiful surprises.

One day I will have the courage to put a meaningful picture of that day

----

not worth a full entry, but deserves a comment. with a friend, talking of love and unlove, I thought what if one of the women of my past was the love of my life and I lost her? he was a wise friend by telling me, give thanks that you met her and shared something with her. Many never get to know her.


EL MEJOR DIA DE MI VIDA?

Hoy me levante con la necesidad de confrontar mi vida con el fin de saber si ha valido la pena. Por ello decidi recapitular y elegir el mejor dia de mi vida, con la ilusion de poder decir que ha existido un dia tan grandioso, solo un dia, que hace los demas ser totalmente validos. Un antes y un despues de ese dia.

Pero que ingredientes debe tener ese dia?

Para cualquier persona que me conoce, sabe que debe tener amor, pues este es el motor que mueve mi vida. Creeria que un dia tan importante, no solo debe ser extremadamente positivo, sino tambien debe tener un poco de dolor. Para mi el mejor dia de mi vida, no es solo el mas hermoso, sino tambien aquel que tiene todas las emociones para hacerme sentir mas vivo que nunca, ese sentir en un solo dia, que nos presenta la pasion, el amor, el dolor, la rabia, la tristeza y sobre todas las cosas la esperanza.

Para muchos tener un dia asi es un milagro, algo muy dificil. Aun asi, hay muchos que lo tienen y en vez de agradecer a la vida sentirse tan vivos, solo se concentran en observar lo malo, olvidando todo lo bueno. Siempre al final de un dia como este, no importa lo malo, pues esto comparado con lo bueno es algo minusculo. Definitivamente los seres humanos somos de alguna manera ciegos ante la felicidad, o simplemente buscamos la miseria con tal de tener excusas para no ser felices.

Acaso que viene despues de la felicidad? Despues de ser feliz viene el reto constante de mantener la felicidad. La felicidad es como el amor de una mujer. Yo veo el amor de una mujer como una constante conquista, a la mujer se debe enamorar todos los dias. Por la felicidad se debe luchar a diario.

Pero regresando al tema, elegir un dia de mi vida, creo que he tenido varios, pero hace poco tuve la oportunidad de vivir uno que me llevo a reflexionar sobre los demas. Ese dia, no deseo decir donde y cuando fue, pues es parte del misterio de mi conquista. Pero si puedo decir que hubo amor, un amor con miedo, un amor en que cada beso creaba miedo de la incertidumbre, de ver algo que era lejano y minusculo, repentinamente tornaba a ser algo con esperanza, algo significativo en mi vida.

Cada mirada, cada beso, cada caricia y cada abrazo, tenia un matiz amoroso que no se tiene con cualquier persona, se tiene solo con esa persona que llega al alma, aquella que abre el corazon y lo comprende, lo ordena y lo desordena, y nos deja esperando su regreso. El dolor llego al saber que el dia terminaba y que de alguna manera regresaria a la distancia, sabiendo que ese dia vivido, posiblemente no se viviria de nuevo. Sin embargo, todo lo hermoso de ese dia, me dio esperanza, de seguir sonriendo y luchando, por algo que no se si es real o imaginario, pero en mi alma y mi corazon, dibujan una sonrisa a diario.

Acaso no vale la pena pensar en una eterna sonrisa? Pues gracias a ese dia, y una semana de no comprender mis sentimientos, me di cuenta que lo hermoso que se vivio, fue mucho mejor que lo que no se vivio debido a la distancia que nos separaria nuevamente. La esperanza se convirtio en una sonrisa permanente y en la sencillez de entender que la vida esta llena de hermosas sorpresas.

Algun dia tendre el valor de poner un foto significativa de ese dia.

----

no merece una entrada completa, pero si un comentario. con un amigo, hablando de amores y desamores, pensaba que tal que una de las mujeres de mi pasado sea el amor de mi vida y la haya perdido? fue un sabio amigo al decirme, agradece que la conociste y que compartiste algo con ella. muchos jamas llegan a conocerla.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Italia



Aquel lugar donde las montañas se juntan con el horizonte
donde no se puede diferenciar la nieve con las nubes
en ese lugar donde no se sabe si uno esta en la tierra o en el cielo
en ese momento, mi corazon sabia que estaba en Italia.

Magnifico lugar donde las personas se comportan como personas,
Hablan, sienten, respiran, besan y abrazan
Donde la piel se siente mas viva y sensible
Y el corazon se encuentra embriagado por el vino y las emociones.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Decepcion

Las luces del este se oscurecen
las aguas calmas se tornan turbulentas
la brisa olvida su paz
mientras el cielo rompe en llanto.

La euforia pierde su pasion
el silencio es el unico testigo presente
el batir del corazon se hace mudo
un alma moribunda colma el ambiente.

La figura que iluminaba el camino
se esfuma violentamente
la deseperacion se torna en la unica esperanza
el caos, el delirio y la sosobra
encuentran una vez mas en mi su morada.

Apaciguado por el dolor
abrumado por la sosobra
el peso de mi putrefacto corazon
derrumba mi voluntad y
detiene mi andar por este camino.

----

DISAPPOINTMENT

The lights from the east darken
the calm water turn turbulent
the wind forgets its peace
while the sky breaks in tears.

Euphoria looses its passion
silence is the only present witness
the beating of the heart turns numb
a moribund soul fills the ambience.

The figure that iluminated the path
disappears violently
desperation becomes the only hope
the chaos, delirium and misery
once again find in me their dwelling.

Appeased by pain
overwhelmed by misery
the weight of my putrid heart
collapses my will
and stops my walk in this path.

----

final del capitulo dedicado a las luces del este / end of the chapter dedicated to the lights of the east

Monday, June 8, 2009

Time games

Time is the most relative concept in the world. We may need a lifetime to figure out what we want, we may just need a couple of seconds to know what we don't desire. Time is the only thing we have and don't have. Many times we wish the time for something was over, and sometimes we wish that a moment would be eternal.

TIME GAMES

Time is both my curse and my blessing.
My curse due to the inevitable end that will come.
My blessing due to the sacred moments we lived together.
Playful time, painful time.

Time I spent with you,
time I lost without you.
Time which I used to recover a broken heart,
time I waited to fall in love again,
to find the wound once again open.

Time for you to go your own way,
time for me to show you that our ways can meet.
Time for you to look at me,
time for me to open my soul.

Time to fight for what you truly believe in,
time to let my beliefs guide my path.

If so, my truthful belief of love above all, shall guide my path
time will tell if it was a noble purpose
or a painful path.

At the end of time,
time will have no value
because being lost in your love
makes every moment sacred and eternal.


JUEGOS DEL TIEMPO

El tiempo es el concepto mas relativo del mundo. Podemos necesitar una vida entera para saber que queremos, pero necesitamos solo un par de segundos para saber que es lo que no deseamos. Tiempo es lo unico que tenemos y no tenemos. Muchas veces deseamos que el tiempo para algo se terminara, y muchas veces deseamos que ese momento fuese eterno.

El tiempo es mi maldicion y mi bendicion.
Mi maldicion debido a el hecho inevitable que el fin llegara.
Mi bendicion debido a los hermosos momentos que juntos vivimos.
Tiempo de juego, tiempo de dolor.

Tiempo que pase contigo,
tiempo que pase sin ti.
Tiempo usado para recuperar un roto corazon,
tiempo que espere para enamorarme de nuevo,
para encontrar la herida abierta una vez mas.

Tiempo para que sigas tu propio camino,
tiempo para mostrarte que nuestros caminos se pueden encontrar.
Tiempo para que me mires,
tiempo para mostrarte mi alma.

Tiempo de luchar por lo que realmente crees,
tiempo para dejar que mis principios guien mi camino.

Si es asi, mi verdadero principio de amor sobre todas las cosas,
debera guiar mi camino.
Solo el tiempo dira si fue un proposito noble
o un doloroso destino.

Al final del tiempo,
el tiempo no tendra valor
pues estar perdido en tu amor
hace cada instante sagrado y eterno.

------------------

Amarte a ti es un error, dice un amigo que cree que ser feliz es estar libre, Y se pierde del matiz que da lo incierto, amarte a ti. - Ricardo Arjona

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Reaching out to the butterfly

Pouring a heart into a paper, letting your fears take over you for a second, and then reaching your heart for courage in order to do the most heroic act, that is a difficult task, but you deserve them all. Believe is one thing, making someone else believe in you is more difficult. When talking of love, even harder.

Today I write to you, telling you to believe, to believe in me, and to believe in us, even though it existed for a short time, it proved to be stronger and more alive than many things that surrounds us, at least much more stronger than many things I have in my life.

I know that timing may not be the best, I know there are many reasons to be afraid, I know that many of the things I have done are difficult to understand, but one thing is true. My feelings are true. Life may have many things planned for you, for me, for us. I am not going to let my happiness go away. My heart was set up on fire, and I am not going to let that die. Believe me, I am used to fighting alone, I know that doing things together is much easier, but it is not difficult to recognize such a beautiful feeling like the one you made me feel. It is not difficult to see the amazing woman you are, the great person you make me feel when i am with you. Therefore, I want you to know that for you, I would fight alone against all reasons, because hope can truly beat despair.

Am I crazy? most of people would say yes, but I guess none of them truly understand my heart. You have the power to change my plans by reminding me the only thing that is true in my life. That above all, love is my real goal in my life, after that, I can achieve all I want. You set my mind and my path on the right direction, once again I reminded myself of who I really am, and what I really want to do in life. For that I truly thank you. My heart and my life owe you for returning the true purpose into my life.

I am not asking for anything in return, I dont even ask for a word, I just hope that when you read this, you know it is for you, because it was your eyes and your lips on which I got inspired. I hope I can reach you, and show you how close I am right now.

Your smile, your look into my eyes, your soul, all of you, made me fall, completely, without any doubt.

For you I would walk on water, cause I know that you would catch me if I fall.

Remembrance

Your smile is printed on my eyes.
Slowly, the image converts into memory
and with the pass of time
it will become a remembrance.

Remembrance of that precise moment
that time has denied us.
Memory that conveniently
will be an oblivion.

---

RECUERDO

Tu sonrisa quea estampada en mis ojos.
Lentamente la imagen se convierte en memoria
y con el paso del tiempo
tornara a ser un recuerdo.

Recuerdo de aquel momento
que el tiempo ha negado.
Recuerdo que convenientemente
llegara a ser un olvido.

Butterflies

The free and independent flight of the butterfly has hypnotized me. The beating of her colorful wings, the arythmic path. The uncertainty of each second captures my attention. My breathing synchronizes with every movement of this beautiful creature.

sighs and colors, is all I live and feel. Once again I feel comforted by the warm breeze that comes with the lights of the east.

----

MARIPOSAS

El vuelo libre e independiente de la mariposa me tiene hipnotizado. El batir de sus coloridas alas, el arritmico trayecto. La incertidumbre de cada segundo captura mi atencion. Mi rspiracion se sincroniza con cada movimiento de esta hermosa criatura.

Suspiros y colores, es todo lo que vivo y siento. Una vez mas me siento comfortado por la calida brisa que viene con las luces del este.

Utopia of a poet

My pathetic utopia of wanting to be a poet reminds me of my mistaken paths. Growing up among magicians, musicians, philosophers, and artists, I was not able to assume my love for paper, pencil and feelings. Obtaining refuge in the world of what is calculable and perfect, without knowing that in imperfection is where I feel complete.

Damned fear that drove me away from my destined path. Blessed fear that guided me towards them. Cause life has given me women. Passionate, sensual, possessed by love and captured by fear. Women unable to love freely. Because of them and for them I have returned to the placebo I call poetry. Poems that hope to be keys that reach hearts, poems full of love and stupid metaphors. Vain poems, that when analized do not only speak of them, but also my vanity towards having a beautiful woman. Elevating their beauty is elevating my conquest.

Beautiful trophy. Trophy that takes me towards poetry. My mistaken paths, that always end up flooding ink of passions over any virgin paper of my utopic attempt to make poetry.

---

UTOPIA DE UN POETA

Mi utopia patetica de intentar ser un poeta me recuerda mis errados caminos. Creciendo entre magos, musicos, filosofos y artistas no fui cpaz de asumir mi amor por el papel, el lapiz y el sentimiento. Obteniendo refugio en el mundo de lo calculable y lo perfecto, sin darme cuenta que en la imperfeccion es donde yo me siento completo.

Maldito miedo que me alejo de mi original camino. Bendito miedo que me guio a ellas. Pues la vida me ha dado mujeres. Apasionadas, sensuales, poseidas de amor y apresadas por el miedo. Mujeres incapaces de amar libres. Por ellas y para ellas he regresado al placebo que llamo poesia. Poemas que como llaves buscan llegar al corazon. Poemas llenos de amor y estupidas metaforas. Poemas vanidosos, que al ser analizados no hablan solo de ellas, sino de mi vanidad por tener una mujer hermosa. Exaltar su belleza es exaltar mi conquista.

Hermoso trofeo. Trofeo que me lleva a la poesia. Mis errados caminos, que siempre terminan desbordando tinta de pasiones sobre cualqueir papel virgen de mi utopico esfuerzo por hacer poesia.

Depth

In the depth of my being coexist my fears and my passions
in the depth of my being surfaces an abyss
in the depth of my being live my darkest reasons
in the depth of my being there is only pain and delirium
in the depth of my being was where I loved you
in the depth of my being was were you abandoned your chaotic home
in the depth of my being your life was marked into my life
and today I can only live in the depth of my being

---

PROFUNDIDAD

En la profundidad de mi ser conviven mis miedos y mis pasiones
en la profundidad de mi ser existe un abismo
en la profundidad de mi ser estan mis mas oscuras razones
en la profundidad de mi ser solo hay dolor y delirio
en la profundidad de mi ser fue donde te ame
en la profundidad de mi ser abandonaste tu caotica morada
en la profundidad de mi ser quedo tu vida en mi vida marcada
y hoy solo vivo en la profundidad de mi ser

Weakness

Weakness of a man in front of a woman,
the declaration of love is what generates it.
Without such heroic act, what would it be of men?
since women were made for us
and we were made from and for them

In that moment, in which vulnerability is admitted
in which the umpermeable barrier that sorrounds the heart
has been defeated with the simpleness of a smile,
that the cold feeling is every second more absent
and gives its place to the constant feeling of warmth
coming from the close breath
and the skin of the loved one.

Isn't it the desired moment?
the essence of life?
Accepting the weakness is the most courageous act.

---

DEBILIDAD

Debilidad de un hombre ante una mujer,
la declaracion de amor es lo que la genera.
Pero sin tal acto heroico que seria del hombre,
pues la mujer fue hecha para nosotros
y nosotros para ellas?

Aquel momento en que se admite la vulnerabilidad
que la barrera impenetrable que rodea el corazon
ha sido derrotada con la sencillez de una sonrisa,
que el frio se hace cada vez mas ausente
y da paso a la constante sensacion de calor
proveniente del aliento cercano
y de la piel de la amada

No es aquel el anhelado momento
la esencia de la vida?
Aceptar la debilidad es el mayor acto de valentia.