Friday, July 15, 2011

Flirting with dementia

So I recently moved to Hungary, after living in Germany for almost four years. There are not so many differences in terms of the countries, even more so, there are some advantages since the culture and the food are more similar to my home country compared to what I experienced in Germany. The biggest weakness is my inability to communicate or understand people.

I recently started to learn Hungarian, but the progress is slow, basically I can’t get past the introduction conversation. Who cares who I am, or where I come from, and for that matter if I am learning Hungarian, if I have nothing else to say? Few people can speak in English, but most of them have little to say.

I constantly find myself in many tables where many people gather and talk. In Hungary, food and alcohol are always present. The advantage of not understanding is that basically you do not have to talk or to listen to the uncomfortable things many people say in any language. I can dedicate time to feel the flavor of great foods or to taste a good wine, and of course, the Hungarian drink, Palinka. Which on the label should say, don’t try this at home. Those are of course positive points. In this prolonged silence I have been able to be quieter and calmer.

The main issue, is that in order to go through gatherings, which are very common, I constantly find myself filling in the blanks, imagining what they say, or the jokes, or what they talk about. I guess is the feeling of missing the gift of understanding a conversation. It has been a while since I had a deep and profound conversation, not that I had them a lot before, but at least I had the chance, here I do not have it. I guess that is how dementia starts; there should be a study of the correlation between immigration and dementia. How many immigrants actually lose their sanity? Well I hope I do not get to be a part of the statistic. It is uncomfortable enough to know that there is a possibility that filling in the blanks is not totally sane, but who cares, if that is what gets me through a day and a night?

Silence is golden, but a word and a conversation it is also very valuable in, if not building your intellect, at least keeping your mind in shape.
I guess that while my previous entries in the blog were in order to let go of feelings that were hurting or keeping me at unease, these next entries may be a way of talking to me, or at least raising the issues concerning my past decisions and the ones that may come in the future.

So long and viszontlátásra…

7 comments:

I.A. said...

very interesting article!!! i think it takes many years to integrate any foreign society, even if you gained a family there and have your love close to you. only strong people are able to enjoy life and create his/her own path in any situation and place... it takes a lot of effort, time and patience!

p.s. once you motivated me to start blogging in germany.. i think you did it again :)

Carlos said...

Bro! Welcome to my world heree in China.... I know the feeling but patience my friend... You will get the hang of it... As long as you just dont focus in the booze and food!
Although I have learned that with alcohol my mandarin is more fluent so you give a chance toyou hungarian that way..

Suerte parce...

Denise said...

I love the photo at the top of your blog! You learnt German pretty quickly, so I'm sure it will be the same for Hungarian!
All the best & enjoy the food!!

LFZD said...

Imran, thanks for the post. I hope you go back to blogging! As you said, its a matter of time and patience!

Carlos, believe me, the flight is totally worth listening to you speak in Chinese! I will keep with booze and food since they have been there before Hungary, im not going to betray them!

Denise, the picture was taken by me, its the Balaton Lake in Hungary. Actually from the house we are renting with my wife. You are always welcome! I will enjoy the food for sure!

Edgar Bastidas said...

Y yo jurando que en Alemania la cosa era mas enredada. Bueno el articulo compa, toca seguir pa' lante hermano. Además si existe alguién que hable mas carreta que yo, ese es usted, entonces la cuestión solo será de tiempo. Un abrazo; Voy a mirar si consigo alguito del tal Palinka para mirar si es tan bravo como lo pintan jajajaja.

Steph said...

I was literally laughing out loud while reading your post. I am an American living in Budapest and can completely relate to your experiences. My fiance and I moved here from the states last May and there are many days when he is the only person I talk to. I have found it helpful to go to areas of Budapest where I know there are foreigners just so I can hear someone else speak English. Good luck with your Hungarian classes and bravo on your well described view of an expat in Hungary!

Aioleen said...

It is indeed interesting to read about a newcomer's experience in Hungary. I am in Budapest for almost 2,5 years and still feel like if I live in my own small community of foreigners. I am sure it is a matter of language but.... It is also a cultural issue as even English speaking Hungarians are closed, they can be friendly and helpful, but closed for you. This is an awful generalization, I hope to be completely wrong, but this is how i see it so far....