Monday, June 29, 2009

Best day of my life?

Today I woke up with the need of confronting my life, hoping to know if it has been worthwhile living it. Therefore I decided to observe and choose the best day of my life, with the hope of being able to find such glorious day of my existence, just one day, that makes the others be totally valid. One before and after that day.

But which ingredients shall this day have?

To any person that knows me, must know that this day must have love, since this is the motor that moves my life. I believe that such an important day, it should not only be extremely positive, but also should have some pain. For me the best day of my life is not the most beautiful, but also that one that has all the emotions to make me feel more alive than before, that single day, that gives us passion, love, pain, anger, sadness, and above all, hope.

For many, having a day like this would be a miracle, something very difficult. Even so, there are many that have it, and instead of thanking life for feeling so alive, the only concentrate on observing the bad things, forgetting all the good things. Always at the end of a day like this, no matter the bad things, since when compared to the positive things, it is something almost non existent. Definitely, as human beings we are somehow blind to happiness, or simply we just search for misery in order to have an excuse so we are not happy.

What comes after happiness? After being happy comes the constant challenge of remaining happy. Happiness is like the love of a woman. I see the love of a woman as a constant conquest, a man must make his woman fall in love with him every day. For happiness we have to fight daily.

Coming back to the topic, choosing one day of my life, I must say I have had my share of them, but not a long time ago I had the chance to live one that lead me to reflect about the others. That day, I wont say when and where, since its part of the mystery of my conquest. I will say that it had love, love with fear, a love that carried uncertainty, a love that with each kiss generated the fear of doubt, of seeing something that was distant and small, suddenly become an object with hope, something with meaning in my life.

Each look, each kiss, each touch, and each hug, had a shade of love that you dont experience with any person, that you only feel it with that person that reaches your soul, that person that opens your heart and understands it, that puts it in order and also disorders it, and leaves us waiting for her return. The pain came by knowing that the day was ending, and that somehow I would return to the distance, knowing that this precise day, possibly would never be lived again. Never the less, all the beauty of that day, gave me hope, of continuing to smile and fighting, for something that I may not know if its real or imaginary, but in my soul and in my heart, paint a smile every day.

Perhaps isn't it worth it in thinking of an eternal smile? So, thanks to that day, and a week of not understanding my feelings, I understood that the beauty of what was lived, was much better that what was not lived due to the distance that would separate us again. Hope turned into a permanent smile and the simpleness of understanding that life is full of beautiful surprises.

One day I will have the courage to put a meaningful picture of that day

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not worth a full entry, but deserves a comment. with a friend, talking of love and unlove, I thought what if one of the women of my past was the love of my life and I lost her? he was a wise friend by telling me, give thanks that you met her and shared something with her. Many never get to know her.


EL MEJOR DIA DE MI VIDA?

Hoy me levante con la necesidad de confrontar mi vida con el fin de saber si ha valido la pena. Por ello decidi recapitular y elegir el mejor dia de mi vida, con la ilusion de poder decir que ha existido un dia tan grandioso, solo un dia, que hace los demas ser totalmente validos. Un antes y un despues de ese dia.

Pero que ingredientes debe tener ese dia?

Para cualquier persona que me conoce, sabe que debe tener amor, pues este es el motor que mueve mi vida. Creeria que un dia tan importante, no solo debe ser extremadamente positivo, sino tambien debe tener un poco de dolor. Para mi el mejor dia de mi vida, no es solo el mas hermoso, sino tambien aquel que tiene todas las emociones para hacerme sentir mas vivo que nunca, ese sentir en un solo dia, que nos presenta la pasion, el amor, el dolor, la rabia, la tristeza y sobre todas las cosas la esperanza.

Para muchos tener un dia asi es un milagro, algo muy dificil. Aun asi, hay muchos que lo tienen y en vez de agradecer a la vida sentirse tan vivos, solo se concentran en observar lo malo, olvidando todo lo bueno. Siempre al final de un dia como este, no importa lo malo, pues esto comparado con lo bueno es algo minusculo. Definitivamente los seres humanos somos de alguna manera ciegos ante la felicidad, o simplemente buscamos la miseria con tal de tener excusas para no ser felices.

Acaso que viene despues de la felicidad? Despues de ser feliz viene el reto constante de mantener la felicidad. La felicidad es como el amor de una mujer. Yo veo el amor de una mujer como una constante conquista, a la mujer se debe enamorar todos los dias. Por la felicidad se debe luchar a diario.

Pero regresando al tema, elegir un dia de mi vida, creo que he tenido varios, pero hace poco tuve la oportunidad de vivir uno que me llevo a reflexionar sobre los demas. Ese dia, no deseo decir donde y cuando fue, pues es parte del misterio de mi conquista. Pero si puedo decir que hubo amor, un amor con miedo, un amor en que cada beso creaba miedo de la incertidumbre, de ver algo que era lejano y minusculo, repentinamente tornaba a ser algo con esperanza, algo significativo en mi vida.

Cada mirada, cada beso, cada caricia y cada abrazo, tenia un matiz amoroso que no se tiene con cualquier persona, se tiene solo con esa persona que llega al alma, aquella que abre el corazon y lo comprende, lo ordena y lo desordena, y nos deja esperando su regreso. El dolor llego al saber que el dia terminaba y que de alguna manera regresaria a la distancia, sabiendo que ese dia vivido, posiblemente no se viviria de nuevo. Sin embargo, todo lo hermoso de ese dia, me dio esperanza, de seguir sonriendo y luchando, por algo que no se si es real o imaginario, pero en mi alma y mi corazon, dibujan una sonrisa a diario.

Acaso no vale la pena pensar en una eterna sonrisa? Pues gracias a ese dia, y una semana de no comprender mis sentimientos, me di cuenta que lo hermoso que se vivio, fue mucho mejor que lo que no se vivio debido a la distancia que nos separaria nuevamente. La esperanza se convirtio en una sonrisa permanente y en la sencillez de entender que la vida esta llena de hermosas sorpresas.

Algun dia tendre el valor de poner un foto significativa de ese dia.

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no merece una entrada completa, pero si un comentario. con un amigo, hablando de amores y desamores, pensaba que tal que una de las mujeres de mi pasado sea el amor de mi vida y la haya perdido? fue un sabio amigo al decirme, agradece que la conociste y que compartiste algo con ella. muchos jamas llegan a conocerla.

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